Wanting Acceptance

Hey everyone I hope you all are doing great besides this lovely rainy weather outside makes me kinda sleepy. Today I think I'd like to get down to business and get to the real hard stuff. When I decided that I was going to start a blog it was a way for me to tell you everything I've been through and am going through. However I have realized that I can't post everything I want to just for future safeness. With that being said let me talk about the title of this post. Wanting Acceptance yeah I know it's a very hard subject to talk about but it is needed to be talked about. I have always gone through life just wanting to be accepted by everyone just because that's my personality. I have always been the person who is caring and nice, that person who always apologizes even if they haven't done anything wrong. However because I have lived this way I started to grow a shell a very shy one at that it was just a very comforting place. All the way through middle school and some high school I was kind of a shunned person only because I was shy and well yes I was a much heavier person for my age. The fact that I'm so caring and shy and never wanted to say anything got in the way only because I've always wanted to be loved and accepted by everyone. I mean I've always had friends who have been there for me and had them but sometimes what you feel inside no one can help. I was the kind of girl who always had girls that were friends and never had any guy friends. Yes I've had my fair share of crushes but I always got nervous and NEVER had the courage to say a thing. I couldn't talk to them because then I felt like they would never be able to accept me for me. When I finally got a job in May of 2011 I saw things looking great I was gonna meet new people and have great friend. I stepped into a whole new world when I started a new job I was working with females and males. I ended up growing out of this thick shell that had formed around me and finally broken out of it. Mostly all the thanks for that was because of my best friend who wouldn't let me hide anymore. Also I had guys as friends for the first time ever and ended up become a really good friend with one of them or at least that's what I thought. This was the point in my life where I really started to lose sight of everything and had to worst perception of myself. This was all the start of wanting to be accepted.