Scariest Moment Ever...

I've gone through how could I tell this part of my life a million times in my head. I have yet to really know how I could tell you all about it without seeming like I'll jeopardize my future. However most of my friends and yes co-workers now know what the Scariest moment of my life really was. Well first I can lead up to how May 8th became the scariest moment of my life. I had only been working at my current job for about 7 months at the time but I had become friends with this guy I work with. We just talked all the time well actually I did most of the talking or texting then he did. Me and this guy have always been on this roller coaster kind of relationship the one where we were cool with each other one day and the next day and then next thing I know someone says he's talking smack. Yeah I know you shouldn't listen to other people but this was kinda hard when I always wanna be cool with people. I have this problem thing where I care about everyone way to much which isn't a bad thing but sometimes it isn't always a good thing. Anyways me and this guy stopped talking for like a month or so one day I was joking around being flirty kind of thing and next thing I know low and behold were cool again. Then all that something lead to something huge and something I could never take back. The only reason I think that I went with it was because at the time I thought well here's this guy who I'm friends with who is kinda giving me the time of day. I felt like at the time that he was accepting me which is what I have always just wanted. Until reality finally hit me and I finally saw the real side and the true colors. I mean here I was finally getting attention from someone and I didn't know how not to say no. We hung out for months and kept a whole lot secret for a really long time. Then came the day May 8th which yes is my best friends birthday which i'll never be able to forget or be so sorry for this happening. I think I can just say that I made a huge costly mistake and that I learned a huge costly lesson. I think that night was the hardest that I have ever prayed to god for forgiveness and to help me out of the situation. For days and weeks after that I had this deep depression state and I just couldn't forgive myself for all the wrong i did. I know God had forgiven me the moment and all the times I've done wrong but I felt like I had been away from him so long he would never forgive me. It's like a close friend of mine said that "what happens to coal when it's crushed" Me: "I don't know" He said:  "it makes diamonds and that will be you Brittany." I will never forget this because no matter what I'm going through no matter how ugly or crushed I am I will become something beautiful. I will be accepted and am accepted by friends and family just the way I am :) Hope this wasn't to much for ya'll today because it's a very hard subject for me :/